Ditching My Dream & Being a Doer
Hello #Renegades!
We're already 1 month down into our #YearOfLavish I can't believe January came and went so quick or is it just me? I feel like I'm still carrying the weight of my Christmas dinner....literally! But here we are in February and I hope that by now those that downloaded my Ebook have managed to cross some of your lavish goals off or begun to work towards some of them & if you haven't its never too late to start making some goals or to read the book so get to reading! Please ensure that you continue to keep me updated on your journey and year! Thank you to all of you that tune into Vex In The City Live and update me on a weekly basis of what's happening with you as well as ranting & laughing with me! Interacting with you guys and seeing your opinions really makes my day & why I blog so please continue to do so!
So January was a crazy month for me, first month of me leaving the security of my full time job and my amazing year group! I knew I loved them but seriously it really has dawned on me how incredible my year group was! I know it's biased to say that as I'm sure every person that is a Head Of Year feels that way, but I kid you not my Year 11 who are now Year 12 are hands down the most amazing bunch of kids that I have met (they won't like me referring to them as kids so I will say "young adults" instead, before they get brave & start referring to me by my first name & not Miss D! I might have left the school but put some RESPECK on my name!)
Those of you that follow me on Snapchat will see that everyday I put up a screenshot of the book that I am currently reading entitled "Until Today" by Iyanla Vanzant which is a daily devotional book dedicated to help you grow spiritually and inspire you every day. I have to admit it really has helped me (& all you Renegades that screenshot it on my Snapchat I'm glad it does the same for you!) to making a conscious effort to be positive, to reflect on what it says & it builds on my personal relationship with God. I've realised that I'm nowhere near knowing myself completely, I change, I grow and notice something new and this is something that will continue for the rest of my life!
SO
January was a month of many things for me both positive and negative:
POSITIVE
Started my new temporary role within a secondary school in East London, continued to lose weight thanks to me ditching milk & drinking so much water I'm on the toilet every 5 minutes like my bladder is a MYTH, writing in my #YearOfYes journal & seeing the little yeses that I handle every day got my feeling like superwoman, trying new herbal teas & actually enjoying them, pushing myself to go out and not be so much of a granny, spending time with my family & meeting exciting people & business ventures to help me with my dream of being a writer & SCANDAL AND HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER IS FINALLY BACK!!!!!
NEGATIVE
Struggling to get used to the notion of being paid weekly & re-budgeting to create new spending habits, missing my old work mates and year group, having to wake up earlier for this new job, suffering with writers block for about 10 days, not getting shortlisted for the BBC Writers Room, losing one of my students unexpectedly & suddenly (R.I.P Frank thank you for all the memories and helping me be the Head Of Year with the best Powerpoints thanks to your input and for all the laughs I will miss your infectious smile!)
Now we're in February, last month in my journal January was dedicated to "Yes to Beautiful" and this month is "Yes To Doing" which fits in perfectly with what I want to achieve because I'll be honest in the last few days my mind has been all over the place & I'm trying to get rid of bad habits, the biggest one of me staying in my house all the damn time! Thanks to this new job I have the freedom to call people on my phone and have time for myself as well as do my job with no stress and I can't describe to you guys how amazing that feels! However, as great as having this job is I've had to remind myself
“Delia-Rene do not get too comfortable, there’s a reason you left your job & it’s not to get another job it’s for you to make your writing a serious career so it’s time to work!”
”
Yes I talk to myself it keeps me sane even though I end up looking slightly insane when I do it but #KissMyAssSoWhat . It's very easy to become accustomed to your daily tasks and life but everyday something sticks me in the side of my rib to remind me that this the Year Of Lavish! When I realised that February was the month of doing it was like divine intervention for me to take my shit to the next level!
Shonda Rhimes speaks about the importance of not being a dreamer but a DOER as dreams can't be accomplished if you are not working towards them! She does the work, she does the long nights, she does the sacrifices, she does Olivia Pope's crisis management firm, she does Annalise Keating's office/university classroom & she does it WELL (if you haven't noticed by now Shonda Rhimes is a huge muse of mine!)
So I thought I might as well share with you guys the things I have committed to doing in February since I tell you all about my life anyway!
1. Forgive myself & love myself MORE
I have to admit that when it comes to myself...I'm my harshest critic. Especially with suffering with PCOS my weight gain and loss is up and down all the damn time it's been a lifelong battle, however I've made a conscious effort this year to eat more healthier and have a better relationship with food because my body seems to be rejecting all the rubbish that I used to eat thanks to my digestive system deciding that it was lactose intolerant anyway so I didn't really have much of a choice! It has made a difference, drinking water like my life depended on it has made my skin glow and so clear, I've lost weight at a steady rate, and I've begun trying new dishes which is something I've always wanted to do. Also I've been reflecting on many decisions and things that I have done in my past especially when it comes to my relationships with men & how that has affected my relationship with myself. I haven't been really nice to myself to be honest & have often put others in front of myself especially my partners without getting what I needed & that has to stop! I've realised that I am enough, I don't have to prove that to anyone and I need to have more confidence within myself so that maybe one day I can actually accept a compliment because I honestly suck batty at that.
2. I will continue to get myself out of my house
I am a hermit,a granny, anti-social, yes I like my own company in my house all the time just me, my laptop and the TV on for background noise! I mostly write at night, I'm currently writing this blog at 9:30pm on a weekday and I don't think I've ever written a script in the day time. I'm nocturnal damn it! Even though no-one loves to sleep more than me so it's doesn't really make much sense but oh well! But with me being somewhat of a recluse especially last year thanks to working on my play so much there's many things that I missed out on & I can't say that I want to become a writer without networking, going to events & meeting fellow creatives. I get inspired by the smallest of things mostly music & observing people so this month if I see anything that I am interested in or is to do with film/theatre/music/poetry I am there! This month alone I've booked tickets for several events which I added to "Delia-Rene's Diary" and you guys are more than welcome to join me!
3. Do something spontaneous
I am determined this month to do something new that I would never usually do because that's what life is all about! Being unpredictable, letting go of fear & having something to tell my grandchildren when I'm old & grey! What exactly that will be I don't have a backside clue but I am open to the idea which I guess is the first step so whether it's looking at my bucket list & deciding to cross something off that, or booking a random holiday last minute or my friends/family making me do something then I am all for it!
4. Write...write and write some more
Because that's the whole point! I can't be a writer and not write! There is nothing worse than suffering with writers block it frustrates the fuck out of me but sometimes its your minds way of saying that I need to take a bit of break and allow myself to switch off. I want to be able to write shorts, features, theatre, film so I have to open my laptop or my journal and get the words out! I always question what I write and whether it is good enough, but thanks to a meeting a had in January it really helped to reassure me in my writing abilities and my voice! In addition to me writing, it's time that I began actually creating the content, putting it out in the world for you all to see enjoy since your support & comments for Ex-periences Theatre play was amazing I'm eager for you all to see what I've been working on, I also want to collaborate with other creatives so I need to put this new MacBook and my diary to work! I get frustrated by not writing, it's my release so I'm so glad that I decided to rewatch "First" a Youtube series created & written by Jahmela Biggs & just like that...the ideas began to flow again. What I loved about this series was the simple & classic love story as I'm a hopeless romantic, but I love how invested you get into the story of Robin & Charles, the cinematography , the dialogue & most importantly the soundtrack is FUCKING DOPE! I am a R&B and soul enthusiast and the music that is featured in both seasons of this webseries is...too..die...for I'm actually using it to write this blog as we speak! Watch the web series below...you're welcome!
5. Continue to be LAVISH above all things
I have decided to treat myself whenever I feel like it, I've dressed up even when I'm not going anywhere special simply because I can! Whatever way helps to make me feel lavish I will do because you don't need an excuse to! Especially as February is the last month of my twenties as I turn the big 3-0 in March I'm determined to make this month as memorable and enjoyable as possible to see my twenties out in style! Sometimes that involves having a glass of wine with my dinner, I wear my fur coat and walk like I'm a Queen, I've bought something without feeling guilty for treating myself and I seriously encourage you all to do the same! I bought myself a dress that a few months ago I would never feel brave enough to wear but fuck it I am loving that I got it because I love it I will show you guys for my Valentines post because even though I'm single as hell I will be taking my damn self out instead & looking lavish as I do!
So it's not about me ditching my dream, this month is about me doing more in order to make my dream come true! I can't wait to see what February unfolds & what I get up to if you want a front seat then add me on Snapchat @deliarene
How has the first month of your #YearOfLavish gone?
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